How to Eat a Taco...

Taco's come in Hard or Soft varieties nowadays with all kinds of fillings from beef to chicken and even fish, but our's is rather tall, strong and very quick.

So how should one Eat a taco? Glad you asked. There are three methods that come to mind.

1. From the bottom up.



Here's a fine example of a good beginning.

A = Shield held high to protect your shoulder's and upper back from our Taco's long, quick reach. Bump him with that shield too.

B = Defensively, keep your sword/weapon here, forming an A by pointing the tip towards your shield, this protects your sword side from getting abused when Taco can't hit your shield side shoulder's or back.

C = As soon as you feel the mighty THUMP of Taco's hit on your shield, then step in quickly, under his leaning upper torso, and strike. Throw that sword strike at his ab's but then, at the last minute, because his shield will move there, snap that wrist down and send the blade into those long, open legs and pop that knee. Your Taco will then be gimped. Protect your leg's, then close on him for the kill.

Here's another view of the Bottom first method...



The thing to remember here is to A = push the inner edge of your shield into that long outstretched arm, from his elbow or his armpit. That will hinder his strike. Push that shield hard and knock him a little off balance, then strike low B = to the outside of the non shieldside leg.

Another thing to remember is that sometimes that Taco spins around on you like a crazy top. You can't eat a taco like that. Well, you can, but don't do it as the Taco expects. Most strikes are coming at him towards the most obvious kill zones, the body. Throw it to the body, but at the last minute, snap that wrist again and send it down to his bottom or his legs 'A' in the image below. The butt strike will kill, while the legs will only gimp and as we all know a Gimped taco is still a dangerous taco, so make sure you protect your legs, move fast, smother him, and strike to kill.



2. Never Eat your Taco alone. It is always good to share. A sword and board fighter should team up with a spear or pole arm with thrusting tip. Stay together as if you were joined at the hip. Siamese twin fighters. The shield man keeps his shield high and protects both of you from the rain of blows from above. The spearman jabs at the knee's, the leg's, or even the unmentionable's.

The spear can also be used to push back the Taco if he get's too threatening. The Spear can be used to smother or strike or block the Taco's weapon arm when it is in motion, thus giving the Shieldman a chance to attack those long vulnerable legs.

Remember there's plenty of Taco for two.

3. Last but not least, don't forget the hot sauce. Lot's of it, and in the eyes. 'nuff said.

Konradr

LOL

That is amazing.

I applaud.

Now, to try and find out how to beat Surt and Barrikaide.
x3

haha konrad u rock. but last practice i think taco ate me! lol

Konrad this deserves epic post of the year! I look forward to eating a Taco when I get down.

Oh the Taco definately ate quite a few of us, me more than I care to share. But it's a learning experience. I drive around at work all night thinking, how'd he do that, what was his weakness. Then Akeria posted some beautiful action shots and got me to thinking and voila.

Konradr

That was great. I am still laughing. That was fun to read and informative. I got crushed by the Taco also, but I tend not to think, it just hurts more.

Well, I think I saw a gimped taco more this Saturday then last. Good job guys.

Konradr

Well thats was awsome i loved it so much, but now i know my weakness i can work to better myself. I can see the years of fight in there Konradr you really know your stuff. really good diagrame, and the way you showed it. But great job I really laught alot when reading it!! and i don't like hot sauce.

this topic is full of win!!! more laughs than i needed my stomach actually hurts alittle yeah it's very cool that people are this observant i don't mean to be rude on taco's behalf cause he is my boyfriend but when he is on the field he is one of my least favorite person i know that he is a good fighter i have watched him for 5 - 6 years doing this so it's awesome when people come along and can beat him i want him to learn from people that are better than he is so hopefully these little tips will improve people in there hits to taco as well a joash ( taco ) learning from his weakest areas. so yeah this was awesome thank you Konradr!