the start of my story The Red

If you guys think its good i might continue it everything accepted critism and the like (out of context warning) doesnt this look like a axe not a elephant



i sat on the metal floor huddled together for warmth as the remaing oxygen supply was
drained from the cabin and the pounding from the rusted metal door was getting louder and
louder it was only a matter of time before the red got to us or we died from the constant
air lost i looked around at my cruel cell it was a old maintence room there was another
room connected to us but no one dared to open the doors after the outbreak but it kept
knawing on my concious what if theres food and air tanks behind that door we would be able
to add a little time to are death but what if it was better like another door to a weapons
full of standard issue plasma rifles but what if it was a red, tank full of musle and
rock hard skin that could easily tare off my limbs and kill us all but the rewards where to
great i had to give it a try as i musterd all my energy to get up katie grabed my torn
shirt she was my crush for as long as i could remember but for once she was grabbing me or
even aknowleging me as a person but all she said was dont move im cold i shrugged of the
thought of her having the same feeling for me instead it was a self-consious remark
about her feeling cold so i just got up quietly trying not to attract attention to myself
i limber the short distance to the narrow door way this was rusted as well but this ones
keypad was still intact and i peared into my mind looking for the standard key for all
maintence doors. saddly the only way i knew those was because i was always so curious
with a simple dance of the fingers accros the padd it popped opend shadows where everywhere
i saw two red dots and let out a quiet squeal but then the light struggled on i saw it just
was a multitool and a empty room i barely noticed the small shadow behind me and i flipped
around trying to hit my hidden assailent it was corey the 3rd oldest of the bunch
but not the third smartest more like the dumbest and he questioned me Hey you little runt
what did you find and i pushed him and said get off me punk he smirked and said fine have
your closet he shoved me inside and i hit my head on the wall and as i thought the pain was
over another body hit me i instantly could tell it was a girl by her soft skin i thought
it was katie but to my suprise it was a diffrent girl i didint know. corey let in Ha that
will show you to help the weak and all i heard was a kushhh the door had closed was he
serious he locked US In whats worse was that the little light that could didnt
and it went out the only sounds was the laughing from corey outside
Then a metal ripping sound came from outside The red they WHERE INSide I looked outside the
window as the red ripped through everyone where was katei her face shuved aginst the
window screaming i had to do something i hit the emergency to open it and she fell in but
the red saw as well so i hit the button and locked the door then the light went on
the red scrapped at the door and mouned a deathly call the light from the outside went dead
the unknown girl held her shirt to the window she told me in a calm voice to take the multi
tool and glue it to the door and i did the scrapping stopped completly i was so drained that
it hit the floor and just stayd there with the lights rays hitting my face i felt something
it was katie pushing aginst me scared and the other girl was sitting in the corner of the
room saying nothing. it was a silent agrement that we should sleep intill later and figure
out what the hell to do but then i remember that katie was on me holding onto me trying
to push away the fear i put my arm around her and the darkness came fast and quiet.

Part 2

I awoke too the grimly same room but this time i looked more carefully it was like a box
bolts held up the braces to the walls and a little red line from the top light lead all the
the way down to a vent with 4 bolts in each end it was big enough for a adult perfect
for a small child but apparently i was the only one awake yet and i looked across the room
to the mystery girl and just realize that she is amazingly stunning with her perfect hour
glass shape with her taned body and her black hair was drooping over her torso and she slept without makeing
a noise so elgant that she looked like a angel in a white under shirt that was faded
with work and it was odd that i barely knew her but i think im going to like her when
we talk. If we talk at all and i follow the bottom brace leading to katie who looked like
a model sitting there with her blonde hair droppig over her petite shoulders coverd with
a mans work jacket and in blood stained short shorts and her head on my shoulder and her
arms around my body it was the closest i have ever been to her and my eyes shoot back to
the mystery girl staring at me with calm yet suddle eyes almost inviting me to talk but
not compeling me and my lips try to form words but my mind trashes everything that comes
out of it. and she finnaly says in a level headed and sweet as she can make it whats your
name she ask and i reply witfully your fakeing it she says is it that obvious dreadfully
i say well anyways my name is kyle whats yours i ask she replies sarah she points to katie
whats her name she ask its katie i reply she then closes her eyes and ask are you two
together and my face gets warm and i say no well then she throws out there
we got to get out of here open that vent with your multitool she asks hold on one second
i say as i wake katie she nudges me away and i let her down to the floor and began
unscrewing the vent the bolts came out with a tink. i looked down the vent we could
totaly crawl out and someone tapps on my shoulder so i move out of the way as she goes in
she calls back wait till i give you the signal i then turn my attentention to the now
awake katie i tell her you should wake up we dont have much time left before she calls back
she ask me who and i reply sarah and she says i dont like her then a whistle breaks are
converstation it was time

Written by philip Edwards

Was kind of hard to follow, I like the direction its going. Could use some grammar + punctuation to make it easier to follow.

yea saddly punctuation and grammer never where my strong points and thank you when i continue ill try harder hard without word :/

here we got lets hope i can make it less hard on the eyes



PART 3 Cramped


it was slow work. how sarah ever got through so fast was a mystery my arms could barley move and i wasnt getting any where
from behind i heard
"Hey can you hurry up this shaft is getting hot"
Now that i thought about it this was getting hot maybe this was connected to the heater somehow all i knew is that im going faster
katie says" oww hurry im burning
so all i could think of is to scarmble forward and thats what i did thanfully the vent started inclining downward and we started to slide faster and faster till we hit a giant bag of something soft then it went black.

I awoke to sarah standing over me checking my head "What happend to me" i asked she replied"katie over there fell on your head your lucky
your spine wasnt broken" sorry for causing your any discomfort but i wasnt informed that it was a heat vent. Fine i wont try to help next time she replied
she backed away from me then for the first time i noticed where we where it was a dark room it wasnt well lit and there was a gaint machine to the side. after a closer examination it was a lundry machine we where in a locked laundry matt and theres only two one the ship one in level 4 the basment and on lvl 2 and since level 1 and 2 had life support down it must be level 4
i got up of the little bench i was placed on there was a bandage on my head and a blood smear going from a pile of laundry i was hoping it was mine.

I looked around some more and there was a light coming from a window with a slot on the bottom apparently this is where you paid for the laundry there was a standard issue xera powerd pistol or xpp for short there was blood leading to a corner where a dead body lay and a embyro attached to the head of a women wearing a orange jumpsuit most likely a inmate from the rear of level 4 the prison. the only problem with getting the gun was that any secound that body could turn into a red lurker and kill us i heard a noise from behind me it was sarah. we have to get that gun if we want to get out of here without being taken by the collecters she said"
i asked her how we could get to it without becoming red meat we didnt have a idea but katie did. Katie said"guys if its any help i was in softball for 6 years maybe if you need it i can help" She looked very sorry for her actions but i didnt believe it. it was sarah that killed the dreaded beast named silence. She said" hey you guys remeber those pipes that where laying around near the laundry machine

Written by Philip Edwards