I need some honest, real advice.

I might be one of the only people on here with this problem. It seems to be most prevalent with teenaged girls.


How in hell do I get my mom to listen to me?

I feel like if she just took the time to consider what I had to say, we wouldn't fight.
Actually, it seems like she enjoys just picking fights with me and then telling me that I have attitude problems.
I try to talk to her about it, but she won't listen. And then she says one line that makes me crazy and I scream at her, slam a door or two, and punch a hole in something or other because I'm trying to keep from grabbing a knife and taking it to her face.

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I think she hates me. She won't even hug me anymore.

What do I do? D:

Besides move out. Can't afford that one yet.

the only advice i can give you is based on my experiences. when i was in my teenage years so...so long ago. there were plenty of times i thought my parents hated me and i argued with them A LOT. but now that i'm older and on my own i look back and think about it. most of the time i feel like i was the one who was wrong and that they are parents and sometimes they have to look like the bad guy to raise you right.

though that was my situation not yours. i suppose maybe the best thing to do would be to hug your mom tell her you love her and sit down and try to discuss your differences. it would better help me to understand the problem though if you could tell me what you want her to listen to? what are you both constantly fighting about?

This is part of the problem. I don't even know half the time!

I'll come home after school, or she'll come home from work and just be angry with me. I'll ask her what I did wrong, but she ignores me. So, I try to tell her that if she doesn't tell me what I did, I don't know, and I can't very well change it. Then she accuses me of calling her stupid and not respecting her, puts words in my mouth that I didn't say, and walks away.

:[

Lately, though, it seems to be about how she'd like to physically abuse my puppy.
Or how she keeps making comments about my weight.
Or how I bring home the loaner weapons. >.>

I think its a Filipina thing. My wife shows some of the same things towards our two teenage daughters, one of whom ran away and is now 18 and out of the house.

Konradr

It's possible. I have considered the cultural difference between growing up in PI and growing up here. So, I know she has trouble understanding some of the things I do.

But, she could still tell me what I'm doing wrong. Or admit that sometimes, she can be wrong too.


But, she also doesn't seem to ever apologize to anyone. Ever.

My wife doesn't either. No matter what, she always thinks she's right and I'm suppose to agree with her 100%. Some of our biggest fights is when I don't agree with her. It's a tight rope act for me when she's mad at one of the girls.

Since you are 18, best just deal with it in whatever way you can, then when you can afford to, spread your wings and fly. Fly without fighting so there's no hard feelings. There is hard feelings between my wife and the oldest daughter.

I noticed Filipina's are very jealous, and carry their problems around alot and seem to project anger if they grew up in less than ideal situations. You're an American girl and have grown up 'spoiled' by america. She may have anger issues she refuses to deal with. Mine won't see a counselor or psychologist for anything in the world even when the fights almost led to divorce. They are stubborn.

Just hang in there and try to move on when you can. Eventually that stuff will subside and you can be close again. Your old enough now to go, just try to do it without serious fighting. Because from what I've obsearved with Filipina's is that they can carry hate and anger for along time.

Konradr

I know exactely what you mean. My mom is just like that.

She wasn't always. It was just after she became pregnant with the baby that she got that way. We were fine a few years ago.

Anyway, thanks for the help, Konradr. Made me feel a little better that someone understands what I'm talking about.

Hopefully, I can find me a job to move out soon.
Of course, sharing a place with a male friend probably won't help any, but that's all I got. x]

Sharing a place with a male friend might be better than you think. Depending on wether its a friend or a 'friend'. Either way is fine. You are 18, you're parents may dissaprove but its now your decisions, right or wrong, go out and learn by living.

A friend would be cool because sharing a place with a friend of the same sex (like best friends) can offen lead to a ruined friendship. I dunno, thats just how it goes especially if one friend is the responsible kind who always has the money for rent and bills etc, while the other is the fun loving kind but not so responsible and doesn't have the money on time or enough of it. It wears a friendship thin. But for some reason, friends of the opposite sex can tend to work things out better.

At your stage in life, college, etc, living at home, living in a dorm or living with friends is all thats really available. (Although in today's market, getting a house would only set you back about $600 to $800 a month then utilities of course. Not a bad investment)

I don't know, with my wife and the girls, if you argue with her you just make her madder and she wants to punish you more, if you cry, it just irritates her and she threatens to punish you more if you don't stop. The only time I've ever gotten her to stop is to threaten to beat her up or to divorce her. (Neither of which would I do) But then she harbours stuff for days on end, not letting anything be forgotten, ever!

At least we don't have shoes flying at us, though, I can remember something flying once or twice and a hole being punched through the front door once. She doing the throwing, me doing the punching. Hahaha. Good times.

Good luck Demie

hmmmm its not just a Filipina thing that is the way mom treated me basicly since highschool its bad enough that when were around eachother we barely speak she has the same im always right and you should do things the way i do attitude and when i was in highschool i pretty much ruined all the walls in my room addin a new hole after what seemed like daily fights about how i always do crap wronge one of which she actualy shoved me into the wall and added a hole of her own the size of me ...but in the past year or so things have goten better we still fight and she is still always right no mater what "ive lived life and i know your only 23 you dont know shit" but it only happens like once every couple of months we probibly fight less now because im actualy doin something but its more likely cause we dont spend much time around eachother i look forward to movein out befor this year ends hopefully our relationship will improve after that...it can realy suck demie sometimes it feels like they hate us for something we dont even know we did but i know from my situation if my mom hated me she would have put me on the street when i turned 18 but no mater what we fought about or how bad it was she always let me stay made sure i had a roof over my head i realy hope you can manage to work things out just remember you have alot of support be it from me or all the other dag folk i cant speak for everyone but im here if you need me


"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."
Arnold H. Glasow

hey guys, not matter how your family treats you your dagorhir family loves you!

well said and no truer words have been spoken

Aha. <3

True, true.